what once was mine
by thesweetsummerchilde
Summary: look nii-san. there are tears on your grave. they are mine. 'make the clock reverse. bring back what once was mine. what once was mine...' - nejihina, implied naruhina


**Rated:** T for brief mention of death and implied incest.

 **Summary:** "Make the clock reverse... Bring back what once was mine… What once was mine…" NejiHina and slight friendship/romance NaruHina (interpret as you wish)

 **Author's Note:** Yeah, so... After my first Naruto fanfic, 'Sincerely, Yours', I get it that there aren't many NejiHina shippers out there. That, or my fanfic is too horrible that no one bothered to read it. Uh, this is NaruHina, if you decide that you hate NejiHina _that_ much, with a side of Hinata's thought about her cousin, sooooo... You can imagine it as your family member just died and now you are mourning, if you hate the couple.

Anyway, please read and review. Pleaseeeeeee? Pretty please with a cherry on top?

 **Disclaimer: I, in no shape or form, own Naruto. Kishimoto-sensei rightfully does, dammit. The song,** _ **Healing Incantation**_ **, belongs to Disney. I own nothing but the plot.**

* * *

 _Flower, gleam and glow_  
 _Let your power shine_  
 _Make the clock reverse_  
 _Bring back what once was mine_

 _Heal what has been hurt_  
 _Change the Fates' design_  
 _Save what has been lost_  
 _Bring back what once was mine_

 _What once was mine_

* * *

It is all over now.

I stand in the line of mourners, solemnly silent, as the priest started the funeral. There are so many people, all dressed in black, no sound is uttered but the monotone speech.

So many people here today, for you, Neji nii-san. So many lives you've touched, so many soul you've changed.

You would say they had theirs to care, and they needed to mind their own business.

But nii-san, we all love you.

See, Lee-kun and Tenten-chan are just there. Your teammates, nii-san. Lee-kun is not saying anything. Not those 'beauty of youth' he usually loves. His look is down, at the ground, water sparks dimly. Tenten-chan is even crying now. For all I know, I've never really seen her cry before. A strong lady as she is, and she cries...

It isn't weak, it is anything but weakness, to freely express love and gratitude. For every emotion display on the silver platter, only speaks one hearty truth.

They care.

 _In Nomine Patris, et Filli, et Spiritus Sancti..._ (In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit)

For the death of you, some light has dimmed.

 _In the Name of God, the merciful Father, we commit the body of Neji Hyuga, to the peace of the grave._

Nii-san, is that peace you want, peace you seek for your life? Is that peace you hope, for me and Naruto-kun, when that light in your eyes faded away and your life drifted to Neverland... And for silence, silence, silence...

The wooden box that is your coffin is being carried out.

So small... It looks so small.

Ironically as it is, for all your life, everything you want was freedom, from the curse seal, from servitude, from the Branch House, and here you are now, caged in that box. However people might say, Neji nii-san, you are still in there, forever trapped by death... And I can imagine now, your lips, pressed lightly, never smile again, never speak anything; those slender fingers never ghost on my skin again... Your eyes closed, the taijutsu works it way on you, seal you Byakugan forever... Dead, dead, dead...

Flowers cover you, dark roses and orchids and gardenias... You never really like those colourful, I recall...

Among them, mine are just a spark of pure white, but they mean you, and me, and the childhood we spent together, where your smile is radiant and your forehead is smooth, absent of the curse on it.

The man is throwing three handful of earth on the coffin now.

 _From dust you came, to dust you shall return. Jesus Christ, is the resurrection and the life_

You are lowered, six feet under the cold and cruel, buried in that depth...

 _Sanctus... Sanctus... Sanctus..._ (Holy… Holy… Holy…)

People are throwing, dirt and soil and earth and dust; and they don't even think twice... Neji nii-san, what would happen if you weren't dead, weren't really away, but still being suffocated down there?

They shouldn't have done that, they don't even flinch.

The bitter taste rolled on my tongue.

Of course you will not come back, silly...

Nii-san, heaven is there for you... Maybe that is better, maybe you don't want to be old and gray, being changed by the stream of time and the cruelty of the world...

I don't know why I am thinking that... You don't want that life, never do you want it...

You are not the miserable one, that one is me, is every one left behind...

So help us, and take us away when our time come and the clock strikes the end...

 _Receive the Lord's blessing. The Lord bless you and watch over you. The Lord make his face shine upon you, and be gracious to you. The Lord look kindly on you and give you peace; In the Name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit._

Over the mountain, over the hills, where grass is green and the air is cool, where life is carefree and the sky is blue... Another life, over the hills and far away...

 _Can you see the beauty of the new beginning somewhere...?_

 _Cause I feel like I won't repair with time..._

It is my turn, to throw the earth on you, but nii-san, that will ruin the flowers, my bless for you...

I can't do this, can't do this,...

People are talking, and whispering, that I am a spoiled little brat, that I have no respect for you. But that is not even half the truth, because I care too, I care for you, I love you too.

More than a cousin should…

But it doesn't matter now anyway, because you are six feet down, and you never heard it, you never hear it, and never will…

A strong hand, places gently on my shoulder, and I don't need to turn around to know whose that hand is. For I have been more than familiar with it...

Calloused fingers presses at my shoulder blade, but he doesn't urge. Those crystal eyes showed only understanding, because he knows, he knows how it is to lose your family... Because he is my friend, and he understands all the pain, all the loneliness, all...

And in those eyes, Naruto-kun promises.

I can have all the time in the world...

Because you will wait, and he will wait, and everyone who matters will wait...

For me to recover

But I can't, I just don't think I will ever be the same again from this...

My knees, my legs, my body, why are they so weak...

Why am I feeling so dizzy...And my body collapses on the ground, the scent of grass and rain and regret fills my nostril...

I stumble, the open ground in front of me is deeper and deeper and swallowing the faint light in the asmospher, and it is harder and harder to breathe, the gravity is weighing me down...

Look, nii-san. There are tears on your grave...

They are mine.

 _Requienscant in pace..._ (Rest in peace…)


End file.
